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Friday Fishwrap
What Am I Drinking For The Royal Wedding?

By Charles Olken

As I write this column, it is just past midnight and like so many Americans, I am amazed that I am watching a wedding in Olde Blighty. Now, this is perhaps not as strange as it seems since my wife and leader is English. And because this is a royal wedding, I have pulled out all the stops and we will be celebrating with a nice bottle of bubbly. I wish I could say it was English bubbly, but that commodity is rarer on the west coast of these United States than 12% alcohol Zinfandels.

Word has it that the royals themselves will be drinking English sparkling wine, and, because there is an English version of the bubbly that actually bested some Champers at a tasting in England (naturally), it is possible that the wine will be more than passable. I certainly hope so for their sakes.

As for the Olkens, we will pull out something from across the channel. Champagne is closer to Jolly Olde than California after all, and it just so happens that Bolly rhymes with "brolly", so Bob's your uncle and it is Bolly for us. I did have to ask Mrs. Olken not to prepare a standard English breakfast, however. As much as i like my eggs and rasher of bacon or ham, I am not overly fond of baked beans and broiled tomatoes or fried bread for breakfast. This is California and we eat dry wheat toast, thank you very much.

Sometime later this morning, I will need to catch 40 winks because, wedding or not, I have a wine tasting in the afternoon and those Pinot Noirs will taste better after a bit of shuteye. Still, good wife or not, I kind of like the idea of the future King marrying a woman whose family is but a generation removed from the coal mines. There is something sort of American about that. Kind of like having a black President with a birth certificate.

OK, no politics. That was a joke. So, good luck to Will and Kate. I will be drinking better bubbles than they will be.

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