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TUESDAY TRIBUTES
11/22/2011
Tuesday Tributes
My Wine Budget Is Out Of Balance

By Charles Olken

Congress has failed in its budgetary responsibilities, and I confess that I have failed in balancing my wine budget. Of course, I got no help from the wineries. They seem to think that I am one of the 1% instead of an honored member of the 99%.

Truth be told, this is not the first year in which my wine budget has run a deficit. I am as profligate with my wine purchases as the Air Force is with its thousand-dollar hammers and toilet seats. I lose money on wine as if I were running the Post Office instead of the Olken check book. I hemorrhage my Pinot purchase funds at a rate that makes the depletion of the Social Security Trust Fund look like child’s play. Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae have nothing on me.

Some day, in the next several decades when I leave this life behind for an eternity in the Elysian Fields, my children will get no inheritance. I will have spent it all on wine. I have fallen victim to a Ponzi scheme of my own making, and I cannot blame Bernie Madoff.

Let me ask you, please. Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever looked at the stack of wine in your basement or bottom of the coat closet or wine chest and wondered where it all came from? How did those boxes multiply like rabbits on “speed”?

I have.


 

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Comments

wine deficit
by Martin D Redmond
Posted on:11/22/2011 10:58:42 PM

Ha!  damn near every day.  The situation is exacerbated by the fact i'm still in my "promiscuous" phase, so I buy more than I should of wines of a diverse variety of wines.  

Wine Budget
by Dave
Posted on:11/23/2011 5:21:16 PM

Oh, yes! I get this feeling often. On days I don't, my wife will usually ask the question for me.

wine budget.
by Tom
Posted on:12/2/2011 4:18:51 PM

Budget?  Ha!  I'm now 70 & thought I could live off my cellar, but no.  I still have to have some of this & some of that, each vintage.  It's an addiction.

Budget Deficit
by Steve
Posted on:12/3/2011 7:12:06 AM

I have had this problem for years.  My wife put me on a budget, I had a huge deficit the year before, had to make it up, and blew right through what I had left this year in a few months.  Now I have to wait for 8 months.  She might give me very limited special dispensation.  The fact that my cellar is space challenged doesn't help either.

Challenged Cellar Space
by Charlie Olken
Posted on:12/3/2011 8:51:55 AM

I can tell you how to solve the space problem from personal experience.

I started with an ersatz "cellar" of 25 cases in the bottom of the spare bedroom. Made a box out of 2" styrofoam, kept the room dark to keep the heat outside as much as possible. Cooled the "box" with milk cartons filled with water that I refroze overnight.

Then exhcanged that for a 6' X 12' walk-in box in the back of the garage.

When we rehabbed the house some years later to provide a bigger CGCW office, took out the cellar in the garage and built side by side cellars--one for older reds and whiles, one for newer wines and wines to be tasted for CGCW.

Now have about forty cases of overflow down the back hall. Like you, I am being harassed by my wife. Thing is, she's right.

No Subject
by Bill Moore
Posted on:12/29/2011 6:19:19 PM

Ditto

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